You are not a child, but a young woman :-) You can't help your father, the problems are his and I don't see how you can alleviate them, so there is nothing to blame. Apparently their marriage hadn't been going well for years, but he didn't believe your mother would have the courage to divorce, and he was unpleasantly surprised. His behavior is not at all masculine - to call people near and far and to tell your stories is unworthy, to try to use you to manipulate your mother - even more so.
Going abroad seems like a good decision to me - it will change the situation, meet new people, it may affect him well. This nonsense that he would not return is again part of his manipulations. Just get used to it and pass them by your ears. He doesn't really want you to calm him down, so there's no point in wasting yourself, he wants the old situation back. Apparently he doesn't want to accept that his marriage is over. He will understand it someday, and that actions have consequences.
There is nothing to suffer. You're 19, tighten up. The decision is correct. Don't get attached to his every word. Let everyone go their own way. Fathers too. Clearly tell him to tighten up and move on with his life. Their marriage is long gone, just some kind of roommate. Your father was used to it.
Motivate him to leave with the idea that one day when he is well he can take you to him and eventually move because here he is without a promising country. There is no lie on your part and there is support and motivation for him because in reality, you are his only meaning.
Your father does not suffer but is angry that he has lost his victim. He'll find another one soon, just make sure it's not you. This is manipulative behavior in order to harass you.
When I opened the topic, I thought it was about a divorced woman seeking advice that her child was suffering. But this site never ceases to amaze me! It says a 19-year-old woman described as a "suffering child after divorce"? I will like the theories that we are left with girls and boys in their 50s to speak about the child of 19. Boy, girl - yes, everyone can characterize themselves. You will say, it means a child of the parents. No, it means how it is perceived. This is the problem of this country. Infantile at 19, 30, not yet immature to work for the family itself. In other countries, people have been thinking like adults for so many years.
Don't get confused and don't listen to him. It is not fair to strain you and harass you with their dramas. My parents are the same, but I am much older and now I can see from the distance that I was the victim of being harassed by their quarrels. Do not show compassion to your father, because in this way, apart from being burdened, you do not help him. Advise him to find a job.
This site turned my ideas about age upside down. There are 40 boys and 19 children. Author, if you were 10, I would understand that you are suffering, but you are 19, you already have your life. OK, it is unpleasant for your parents to divorce, but you are no longer a direct victim and it is right to concentrate more on your life. You have yet to enter the real one and you have to prepare for it, not for that of Parents.
I have only one question for the author - does your father like to drink more?
Dear girl - and our divorced since March 19 last year and almost 7 years have not lived together (since my sister left 1st grade) now she is 8th she suffered but I do not suffer from this I have accepted things well and I am 27 years old almost Now my sister is 13 years old since our divorce, she suffers and roars all day - she suffered the most for her father but I support her My sister is just like you - she has experienced a difficult divorce
Yes, author, at 19 you are not a child, but a young woman. But let's put that aside. If your father had been a man on the spot, if he had been a man who cared for his family, he would never have allowed you to witness their quarrels and quarrels. He would never allow his parents to insult his wife. If you are in your mother's place, will you tolerate being called out every day? She did the right thing. Aren't you glad she's calmed down? Don't take anyone's side, they are both your parents, but leave them - they are great people and their relationship is their job. №4 is most right - obviously your father always needs one victim. Don't tie yourself to him.
From the author: Well, you may be right that I am not a child, but I am still a very sensitive person and I experience it hard .. Thank you for the advice!
Up to number 8: No, he doesn't drink alcohol.
My dear, I am old enough to be your grandmother, and I am sorry that your parents are using you as a trash can. That's exactly what your father does, he's an emotional parasite, your mother has finally mustered the courage to get rid of him. Don't feel sorry for him, everyone has their own destiny. I advise you to look at your own priorities, education, professional growth, internships, foreign languages. Think about how much you are financially dependent on your parents, do you need more money and what to do to earn money. Many students look after children or the sick on an hourly basis, clean apartments and earn decent money. A student comes home every Saturday and works in my garden and greenhouse for BGN 10 per hour of coffee and lunch, fuel too. Start considering only your interests and future, let them take care of themselves. They have time, energy and allow themselves to involve you in their quarrels, their behavior is dishonest. You have to understand it, you are an adult again and you have full civil rights! Take matters into your own hands and do not sink into other people's worries.
Um, the child is your father. He needs serious help from a psychologist.
№14, "A student comes home every Saturday and works in my garden and greenhouse 10 euros per hour for coffee and lunch, fuel too." Do you pay 10 euros per hour, or for the whole day? Do you give coffee every hour?
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