I'm writing this completely unnecessary story here because I'm ashamed to share what's going on in my head with anyone, if it's not anonymous. The truth is that I myself do not know what is happening - it is complete chaos, so I will be happy to give some advice. So, I'm a 17-year-old boy, a rebel, I don't split anyone's basma, I'm not up for a serious relationship. To be honest, I only use girls for sex, but I always tell myself directly what I want beforehand and let them decide for themselves. My lifestyle is influenced by my company and so I started smoking weed at the age of 13, I have been using heavier drugs for a year, but in small quantities. I can control myself and I know when to stop - that's what all future addicts obviously say, but I'm absolutely sure of myself. I want to try everything in this life, but obviously these things are not enough for me and now I have started to do some inexplicable nonsense and so I get annoyed with myself - I have a bisexual friend, I generally do not support this thing a man to be with a man and so on, but this man acts somehow strange to my great curiosity, and without realizing it lately, I began to ask him too much what it was like to touch a boy. I'm afraid he won't think I'm suggesting something to him, I have no desire to touch a man, but the stories excite me and I just want to watch from the side how he has sex with a man. I played gay porn, but it doesn't work that way, quite the opposite. If I tell this to one of my friends they will make me bisexual, but in fact I hate the idea of having sex with a man and I would never try. But if I wouldn't, what's the explanation for that? what's going on in my head and why does my bisexual friend act like that? I will be happy if you share your opinion, because I am extremely ashamed of myself because of these things and I do not know what to do.
1 carleybriana answered
When you feel, so you are repulsed by the thought of touching a man calmly. I'm a girl and I play gay porn, and it's very exciting for me. And why are you ashamed of yourself? Even from anyone, these things may not even matter in 5 years. Always ask yourself, "Will this matter in 5 years?" In any awkward situation, this thought always helps me.