- 1. Expectations
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Expectations
However, it is up to us whether we will allow him to determine every move we make or choose to prevent him from interfering in our behavior and actions. Of course, the first part does not sound like a recipe for a happier and calmer life. So let's see some of the ways to get rid of the burden of constant care for others.
"You are your biggest enemy. If you learn not to require perfection from yourself or others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you "– Lisa Clayas, Love in the Afternoon.
Don't expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself
Your self-perception is the key to your self. It is it that leads people looking for a way to you. You must understand that you cannot expect someone to respect you if you do not respect yourself, nor will anyone admires you if you do not admire yourself. Right at this minute, take the decision to stop looking for evidence in others for being beautiful, strong, and capable. Believe it or not, you are exceptional. Never doubt that!
Stop expecting people to know what you think
Have you ever been disappointed by someone's actions or inaction simply because you did not explain to him exactly how you would want him to do it? Then it's time to find out that people can't read minds. Save your frustration and stop expecting others to know what you are spinning in your head. Communication is the key to healthy relationships and inner peace. When you know a new partner, dump the games and just speak what you think. When you have a problem with friends, be honest and be prepared to discuss the situation. If you feel it's time to get a promotion, say it clearly and be ready to show that you deserve. Of course, there are things that must be felt, not uttered. Take this into account and approach each situation openly. If you are sincere and share your thoughts, you will save yourself a lot of unpleasant misunderstandings and complications, and your life will be better.
Don't expect others to make you happy
There must be someone out there who will make you happy, but don't look for it. Stop expecting every single person with whom your life meets to bring you joy and bliss. Sometimes you get the feeling that someone is screwing up your life, but judging him and getting angry, you won't get anywhere. Accept the fact that personal happiness is the most natural purpose of any human being. Sometimes the foreign idea of happiness may seem to you in rift with your own. You must understand that this is perfectly normal and that you are fully capable of being happy without interference. Another time, your idea of happiness will include the person you met and who has become dear to you.
Stop relying on others for your own well-being
Once you are accustomed to relying on someone else for your well-being, you stop taking enough care of yourself. Instead of constantly feeling the lack of someone's presence, try to enjoy your own! Do not justify your laziness with the thought that when you meet the right person, everything will come to its place. No one should have greater control over your present than you. Forget that your life can become better with the help of the "right partner" because, as long as you expect its appearance, you stop living and only exist. You are the right person who will always be present in your life!
Don't expect others to always be in the mood
There is nothing wrong with always putting yourself first, but it should not make you neglect others. Be caring and sensitive to everyone, because everyone you meet is leading your own battles that you may not know. Don't expect others to always be in the mood. We all have our problems. Learn to compassion. Be prepared to face a rude attitude, indifference or cruelty, but do not rush to become a judge. Everyone has their reasons and the right to sin.
Don't expect others to match your perception of them
We all know how tiring and frustrating it is to try to fit in with others ' expectations about what we need to be. But we often escapes the fact that we also burden others with similar expectations. So we have to stop insisting that others change just because we have a certain vision of what we want them to be. Spiritual growth requires generosity, but not in the material sense of the word. By giving people freedom to be themselves around us, you donate them with wings and a man to fly.
However, do not confuse tolerance with the obligation to endure people who make you unhappy. If you find any qualities you can't swallow, then that person should not be a part of your life. Moreover, it is superfluous to expect him to change.
It's hard to fight with your expectations. They are kind of natural and often cause us a lot of trouble. So, before you start creating new ones, take some time to think about it. Have you given anything from yourself before you start to expect the same from others? Have you been in the shoes of these people? Are you sure you are surrounded by the right surroundings?
It's never too late to change our lives if it means being happy and at peace with ourselves.