23 Years Old, And A Virgin And Inexperienced!

The Story

Since I was 16, I thought "there's time," but a few days ago I turned 22 and... Nothing! I've never kissed or dated. you might have guessed that I couldn't have had sex. I'm sick of people telling me there's nothing wrong with having two decades of my life and not having any experience! I appreciate the gesture, but the reassuring words don't help me at all. I think people need to be honest and direct on this topic. It's not normal for me to be 23 and not have any experience. It's not normal at that age to be a virgin. Yes, even though they are a minority, there are people my age who have not yet happened to them, but I literally have NOTHING that is completely out of the ordinary. 0 girls have shown any interest in me. I have friends who also struggle with girls, but even they have something to boast about. In the worst-case scenario, it's a brief relationship in high school or university, here and there sex, but no one is at my level of complete lack of experience. I know it's unrealistic to think "I'll never find a girl who likes me." I know it's going to happen eventually, but why the hell is it taking so long in my case? I don't know what to do, and even when the opportunity opens up, I'm like a numb and it's been bothering me so much. I think what bothers me the most is how immature it makes me feel. When topics of conversation become sex or relationships, I feel like a 13-year-old among adults and I can't contribute to the conversation. I have to accept the fact that the slightest intimate gestures are pure fantasy to me. Kissing someone is an alien idea for me, and I don't even know how to do it, and kissing is something so basic to most people. I feel immense shame for my total ignorance and lack of experience. I feel like a 23-year-old who can't tie his shoelaces. It kills me from the inside that something as basic as human love, persuasion, optimism, things that today's time and 13-year-olds enjoy are completely unattainable to me, and I want them so badly. This isn't even about sex. I want to be understood, loved, kissed; To have someone to walk in the sea garden at night, but such a person I can not find!

Last Updated
June 18, 2020
Author:
keily_lovers

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