13 Tips On How To Be A Good Conversationalist

Working ways from the 19th-century etiquette guide that will never become obsolete.
Last Updated
June 06, 2020



Train your memory

After you have gone to a lecture or have read something new, briefly retell or write down the information. It is best to use this method from early childhood, but adults it will also help. Do this regularly and your memory will gradually improve.

If you are constantly getting to know new people, but do not remember names, use the method of American politician Henry Clay. He was known for being able to remember the name and circumstances of the meeting, even if he had seen the man only once. The fact is that every night before going to bed he wrote down in a notebook the names of those he met during the day, and in the morning repeated them.



Learn to express your thoughts

In conversation, it is important to present your ideas clearly and correctly. It will be easier if you make a habit of recording them. Teach yourself to use the correct grammatical structures on the letter, and then in oral speech they too will be given easily.



Avoid foul language

Aim for simplicity and brevity of speech. Do not abuse complex words and high-pitched phrases: it is not a sign of mind. Remember that vulgarisms, exaggerations, platitudes and the use of foreign words are out of place - it's a bad tone.



Listen carefully to the interlocutor

Don't say incessantly, let the other person speak out. Even if his speech is boring and tedious, try to express interest and respond. This attitude can be considered hypocritical, but it is based on a simple rule: treat people with the same respect as you want to receive in return. An open expression of displeasure or indifference will offend the interlocutor and show your rudeness.



Don't say fake compliments

Flatter the rich and successful vulgar. It will not say anything good about you, but only expose unworthy motives. However, a simple kind word is pleasant to everyone. So say compliments only when they are sincere.



Don't criticize or ridicule

Be witty and funny if you can, but never turn your wit against other people. Anyone who mocks others becomes ridiculous, especially if he is young and inexperienced.

A cultural person will not descend to ridicule. He realizes that there are too many flaws in him to make fun of others. Especially over those who may have been deprived of its advantages in life. Think about it when you want to criticize someone.



Consider the interests of the interlocutor

Own affairs and inclinations always occupy people more than any other topic. Use it when the conversation starts to fade. Most likely, a person will be happy to support the conversation if you consider his hobbies. And he will find you a pleasant unselfish interlocutor.



Express your opinion when appropriate

Some people who seek honesty want to express what they think. At the same time, they are especially proud of their courage in situations where they managed to embarrass or offend listeners. Others consider it almost a duty to the place and not to the place to share their own opinion.

This behavior is cruel and disrespectful. Treat someone else's opinion with the same tolerance as yours. You don't have to agree with him - just don't try to convince a person by insulting his beliefs.



Don't talk about personal matters in public

It's simply inappropriate. In addition, your personal concerns and joys are not so important to others. If a person is sincerely interested in you, he will ask, and outsiders do not need to know about them. This also applies to the personal affairs of your relatives and acquaintances.

And even more so do not start asking yourself: it is a sign of bad education.



Don't be swayed by your knowledge

Even if you really understand a question better than others, do not boast about it and do not try to shame the interlocutors. They will respect you more if, in addition to knowledge, they see modesty in you.



Don't respond to rudeness with rudeness

If the person you're talking to publicly raises your voice or insults you, don't stoop to the same level. Act like you don't notice it. And he'll probably stop attacking if he sees that they don't touch you.



Don't correct mistakes in your interlocutor's speech

It doesn't matter what he's wrong about pronunciation or grammar. Pretend you didn't notice it. And don't repeat his phrase correctly, it's just as ill-mannered.



Encourage children to be considerate

Develop their memory and observation. To do this, ask to describe in detail everything that the child saw at school or on a walk. This forms a habit to look closely at the world and be interested in everything. These skills will help you have a good conversation.

Frequently Asked Questions

No added frequency questions and answers yet.

Community - Q&A