Hello, everyone. I am writing here because I have no one to share how it hurts me and how hard it is for me at the moment. I became a student 4 years ago and as a habit I decided to go to a brigade in the United States to see the world and earn some money. My contract was to work in a cafe. I packed my bags and left. It turned out that there was no point in looking for a second job, but I would have more hours in the cafe, which was good for me. I also had good tips and accommodation. One day an incredibly charming man appeared in the cafe. It turned out that this is the owner who comes every summer to spend the season here, to supervise who is doing how and if he has to help (nothing that he is a boss, it was a pleasure for him). We liked each other. He was 10 months older than a month, but what of that, I thought, was a summer adventure. And 1,2,3 months passed, I lived with him. It was time to pack my bags and go back to Bulgaria, but it turned out that I was pregnant. Then Dave was very happy and said that this was a sign that I had to stay to be together and I don't know what else. I was in love and happy 19 years old saw a little tenderness and attention and decided that I had won a handsome man with money, a nice house and a child on the way. Everything was perfect. The pregnancy was easy, sometimes I was left alone because Dave was traveling. Two months before Chrissy was born (I named her after my mother), a woman came who cried and said she was Dave's wife, and she found out about me. She said they had a baby of almost a year, so he came here alone in the summer, and she was there in Michigan to look after the baby. I didn't know what to say. I was scalded. They followed, promises, requests, etc. to stay. I was born there and the child received citizenship, but I gathered my things and returned to Bulgaria. I went to Varna. It turned out, that my grandmother was ill and my mother went to look after her and decided to take Chrissy with her to look after her, and I started working in a cafe. There I met my current husband. We were colleagues, he was a bartender. We went out for about 3 months and he asked us to live together. Then I told him I had a child, but he accepted me. There was only 1 problem, his parents. They were in Greece, working there, but they had to come to my brother-in-law's prom. I was very worried, but they somehow accepted me and Chrissy and loved her as their granddaughter because they saw that I took care of their sons. We had a wedding and everything was very nice. Then I got pregnant. I gave birth to a boy, Philip, I named him after my father-in-law, and here came the problems. They started avoiding Chrissy, arguing about everything. There were two cases - one was a slap because she scribbled in a magazine, and the other, which hurt me, was that they called her a BATCH. Scandals, cauldrons started and now Chrissy and I are suffering. I don't know what to do to take my children and go or be silent. My husband doesn't say anything, he doesn't take sides so that no one loves him, he tried to reconcile us several times , but they seem to have only 1 grandchild and Chrissy is redundant. They had even offered to give her to a home. I do not know what to do. I cry every night, I live day by day and I no longer know how to fight
Answers 14
Your husband took you, not his parents, and it is not good that he is silent so as not to offend any of the parties - if he is a married man, he must have an opinion and defend it. If you live alone - I see no problem to put things in their place, but if you are dependent on his parents I sympathize with you. Winnie the Pooh
You better pack your bags and leave, there's no point in standing there and enduring all this because you're the only one suffering, or your child
Whatever you decide, never share it with your children!
Talk to your husband, he knew very well that you have a child. Be categorical. Do not allow him to divide the children and explain to him that his parents hurt you.
In my opinion, you should not live with your father-in-law and father-in-law. Except for the eye, you do not feed them. If they are independent - they will never adopt another child. It is from the years. Your son is their blood, your daughter - no! the good solution is to move out with your husband and children and live alone! It is true that you can not do without a grandmother - call your mother! Your children are her blood both. It will not make a difference, or almost! If you stay to live with parents if they are every day - they will divide your children so that the children will start to hate each other! Limit the time when your father-in-law and mother-in-law * will see your children. Otherwise you will cry all your life!
It is very difficult to give advice in this situation, because it is about your own children, we do not know the details of this story. It is difficult for you because your husband took you with a child, he knew that you are not alone and have no right to divides the children of mine and ours. His parents should not be allowed to interfere in your relationship at all. You should tell them because you are the mother and protector of these children and they have no right to determine their fate. Give them a chance to prove to your husband as a husband and father, if he fails to protect you from attacks, go to his mother. She will always support you. There is no use in such a man.
Hey people, I wonder what happened to the story if the author is still reading and sharing. no? if so, how did the story end
Have you not yet understood that the "foreign child" is not accepted? He who says he accepts it is lying to the people. Or he thought he accepted it, but his inner feeling said otherwise. Too bad for those who haven't figured it out yet.
Bad story ... Unfortunately, number 9 is right, or at least 90 percent. All my life they compared cousins, aunts, etc. with me, because I am not "native" ... And once I was even told "but they are my blood!" ... Ie - understand it - you you are not. It hurts and how else are you guilty of not being of any blood? !! The blood relationship is very important - I claim it myself, but it is not the only and most important condition. I was in a similar situation - well, the father of my second child never accepted my first from a previous marriage, he wanted to model it in his own way, and because he was beaten as a child, he decided to try this way on my son. Of course, I couldn't stand this madness, it's good that he got away with it, but he decided to punish me by abandoning his own child ... Well, he's not in the picture for 3 years now. And I and my two children are much calmer than before. Incredible comment is number 6 from another topic / I don't remember which one it was, sorry /, in which a father, who raised his own daughter, also raises a brother from the mother's previous marriage, does not differentiate between the two and even enjoys grandson of the girl's brother. Unfortunately, such cases are rare and rare.
9 I do not agree with you, I have a child from a previous marriage. and I was wondering how my friend's parents would accept me with a child of 1 year and 6 months, but we have been together for 1 year now and everything is fine. to emphasize that my friend has no children and we talked, but we both do not want in order not to distinguish between children
Number 9 is right. The foreign is foreign - they will not accept it. Move out and live apart from his parents - best! Otherwise, only you and the child will suffer. Insist on moving out!
And what is the situation now?
I have a wonderful little girl and if one day someone allows such an attitude, a jester will fly in the ass (mom's son to mom, and she to the opportunity not to see her grandchildren anymore).
And what is happening now - 7 years later?